Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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