worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
