we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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