Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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