....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
We named our party play list daddy issues
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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