Umm I'm too high to move.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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