about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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