Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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