they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
whose parrot is this?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
