that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize