The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
