thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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