they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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