there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
