This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
