I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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