i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
