You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
