May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
