Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
