I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
