absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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