my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
