the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize