after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
