Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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