Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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