Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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