What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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