It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
