I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
