He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
