....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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