Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
