You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
