That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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