i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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