So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
