Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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