I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
