Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
