I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
