I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
