I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
