I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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