According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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