the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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