You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Randomize
