let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize