i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It's blow job season.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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