Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
