There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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