i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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