this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
